2013/10/25

Oct. 25, 1st day

This may be the most boring story for others. But this is not a story to me, it's the first day of the rest of my life. I had to write it down, in case I forgot this ordinary day.

I know it would be hard. What I didn't know is it is going to be so difficult. 
It is the first day. The cellphone rings at 7:03 am, just about the right time as usual.I opened my eyes, stared at the screen, and did nothing. I looked at the name flashed on the screen, I waited, waited, and waited, until it stopped. It didn't last very long as usual, and he doesn't ring again. "So, this is the actual ending now." I told myself, and felt the freezing cold from the inside out.

I got up, washed my face(lights in the bathroom was flickering), found something purple to wear (today is the birthday of W), ate silently at the table, focused on reading some newspaper articles about whatever. "You'll be fine." That's the only thing I could think of. 

I put on my shoes, got out of the house, and found it was cloudy. "Good, it could be worse, it could rain." After walking a few minutes, I realized that it was actually raining. "Great, now go back and get the umbrella." After opening the umbrella, wearing the earphones, Christina Perri's voice emerged, "...You lost the love I loved the most.." So, I stopped at "Jar of hearts" yesterday. The ground was covered with fallen leaves. I stepped on the color of red and yellow. It was so thick and soft that I could still feel the warmth and strength of it. "'Cause you've broke all your promises,"(still Christina) and -- you don't get to get me back, if you are back, I thought to myself, but no, you will never be back, I know for sure. "Do not deceive yourself," I said to myself,"he is not going to get back. Even if he is, would you allow him to tear love apart again? Certainly not, so, here comes Christina again, 'Don't come back for me, Don't come back at all.'"

After "Jar of hearts", it was Johnny Cash's "Hurt"; and after that was "O Willow Waly"'s sad music story, "We lay my love and I beneath the weeping willow. But now I alone lie and weep beside the tree."----It's so true that people said during some special moments, you could hear your story from every song, and those songs would be flooded with your own memories. That's all because of effects of the emotions, I know. And, "It's all because that this is the first day, and after this day, I'll be fine." I told myself.

Actually today, I realized I had many wonderful friends here now, I'm not alone. I was accompanied by J, I invited to have a cup of cider with H; I was asked to give some suggestions about what I would like to see of Halloween costumes by C; I was able to talk about our story to S; I finally got to see Cara after a whole week. It's nice to be with friends. However, whenever I am alone... This feels terrible. 

For those who are curious about the story behind it, you should know: Maybe it was originated in a fiction, a dream, a fantasy, or a  illusion. 
And don't worry, I am fine. See, I am smiling.

2 条评论:

  1. 好吧,其实对英语很糟糕的我而言,看歌词都好难的说。
    慢慢都会好起来的。

    回复删除